on the edge pt 2

[dingo]

I know I am applying a lot of pressure. I get in these mindsets where I just don't care and want the limbo to end. I want her to chose to maintain her commitment, not just decide its the next best thing. Wishful thinking, I know. Wrong reason for her to come back, I know. But sometimes, that's where my head is.

I know i have received (and even given) more 'go dark' advice than I can shake a stick at and couldn't follow through. I know that the tactic to talk and rehash over and over and over hasn't worked and instead has made the situation worse. I know that focusing on getting her back and not improving myself is failure waiting to happen. I have to resolve again, to take my emotions out of this and act on pure thought alone.