Pud, I’m happy and sad for you at the same time. I’m happy that your H shows some effort to be nice to you and do things for you. I’m sad that he still emotionally distances himself. I can see why you say that it could split your personality in two. I think I would feel the same way.
Be careful with the pursuing actions. He might in a very fragile state right now, trying to figure out his feelings. If OW is no longer in the picture, he might going through withdrawal .This could explain why he is trying to keep some distance from you.
You are doing great, Pud. Keep doing what you’ve been doing.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
