I just had a thought about your dad. Maybe you could write everything you wish you could have said to him. This may help get it out of your brain. Then you could attach it to a balloon and send it to the heavens.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.