MLC or not - know your rights, protect yourself

[25yearsmlc]

golf mom,
A very wise posting. So many come here hurt and disillusioned, but do not want to hear the advice that we provide, i.e., protect your assets, do your homework, etc. Unfortunately, many of the posters do not realize that their spouses can't be trusted until later on as the separation/divorce begin to take place w/the negotiations, etc.

I'm sorry that you have had to go through this mess, but I'm happy that you kept all of your documents and found the divorce decree from his first marriage. Sometimes, those little "finds" will open our eyes just a bit more and make us wonder about the addictions, etc.

I do hope that the readers will read this particular thread and realize that as soon as they get the BD, they need to start focusing on their finances and assets because the MLCers will spend every cent they can get their hands on, i.e., no matter that their spouses and children need in the way of support.

I would only like to add that despite the hundreds of times I've told newbies to get their business hats on for the "business" of divorce, especially with kids, they still prefer talking about their MLCer h...notice, even here, in Golf Mom's position, she is here warning people about the law, but she still calls her h an MLCer...whereas from what I am reading,

his gambling debts preceeded the marriage..she knew of his secret life for a long time, so his behavior was a pattern and so the "MLC" was more like the culmination of a lifetime of misguided quickfixes and ways for him to avoid the reality of his life. Nothing very "sudden", really...yet GM seemed truly stunned.

I say forget the label of MLC (does not change the LBS course of action but wastes a ton of time focussing on the WAS and Not on the changes the LBS can make in THEIR lives, which is where their focus should be, exclusively)

or "whether to get a L" b/c it never ever hurts to gain knowledge...no one said you MUST File if you see or talk to a L...just get empowered with real facts. (Not to say go blab to your spouse that you "saw a L!" b/c the info is for YOU, not them...)

The fears people have of divorce law are often based only on FEAR, and NOT reality.

GM, I'm always mortified to hear such terrible attorney stories. On behalf of my profession I apologize.

Sometimes I know the clients just don't hear what their lawyers say (or the vets here)...and sometimes they hide things from their lawyers, or even themselves...or the lawyers think the clients are mistaken, or worse, the claims are not provable (very frustrating to believe a client, but know that you cannot prove a thing but it may cost a fortune to get that non answer...)


You sound very strong and more balanced these days. How are you and the boys doing? How is your father doing? I admire you for the way that you have handled yourself in your situation. Your advice about taking care of you, your family and your assets/finances is very spot on.

Thank you for posting this information.