He doesn't like to hear my questions when I do find inappropriate things. So he continually tries to clear his slate of the past. That makes me feel annoyed b/c he is being secretive. So we go round-n-round.
Should I not ask when I see unusual things? I told him last night, we are H and W. Surprises may come up. We just explain to the other one and go on.
I'm at a loss so much sometimes as to how to handle things. It's nothing like limerence. It's nothing like limbo. And it's far into reconnection.
Can I just say that I think you have some ideas about this? I can see how he wouldn't want to feel under a microscope all the time and I can see how you would want some reassurances and some trust building. And healing of the past. I suspect he does as well. You are both going about it in different ways. You want to bring out the dirty laundry and clean it. He wants it to go away.
You both have feelings. He is trying to figure his out and trying to protect yours. You are trying to face things and he's trying to not, but only if he can help it. He's also not shying away from it.
Can I suggest you work on the things you can work on? Like bringing things up before they fester? It sounded like that was what you were getting at above. And can I also suggest you resolve those feelings about your career/past? It sounds like a few things are still lingering. Maybe work on those things that get in the way - life? Maybe?
You're both strong enough to work on yourself and together
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
