Coming Back To Life

[BrightFuture]

Some info I gathered from the business receipts and bank account. I didn’t any payment last month for the room in friend’s house where H was staying all this time. Then there was a motel charge in that town where H has been staying. The charge looks like he was at that motel for a couple of nights. I’m puzzled. Why did he stop renting the room? Where has he been living? In his camper? It is flecking cold over there and that was the reason he started to rent a room last year because he could not stay in his camper when it got too cold. I know that he’s been doing a lot of outside town jobs and he stayed at the motels in different towns. But still, I don’t know why the rent stopped. Did he break it off with his friend, hehe. It could have happened, H is very impatient sometimes and people start to get on his nerves after a while, even though these same people could be the best friends at the beginning.

When I realized that he was not renting the room, I immediately thought that he has an OW now and moved to her place. Then I looked at the food receipts, and the amounts didn’t scream for a second person. He was still trying to save the money and actually spent less money on his food for some time. Only the recent receipt started to show the larger amounts. So, there could be another person with him dining out. But, at the same time the amount for groceries didn’t increase.

I had a brief feeling of sadness when I thought that he might have finally acquired an OW, but it went away pretty quick. Surprisingly, I didn’t even have my heart beating faster or any anxiety. My next thought was that it might be a good thing and he might stay over there longer, so I don’t have to worry about him coming here and to the vacation home. I would curious to find out if maybe he found the OW who would be willing to go with him anywhere he goes.

Then, I found out that he is intending to head south at the end of this week. I assume he is planning to drive, and not fly. I’m thinking he will be making stops to visit his friends and relatives on the way. Not sure if he will drive his camper, or a rental car. Maybe his plan is to drive his camper, so he could bring some of his stuff when he goes back, so he could set up a permanent household over there. Sigh… This is all speculation, but my mind is just racing with all kinds of possible scenarios. I need to be prepared for anything.

On another note, I had a dream last night where I was some party with a new BF. The weird part was that I knew my H and my first XH were at that party too, but I could not see them. This was a strange dream, but it made me feel kind of good. What it means to me is that my heart (or mind) is opening to a new R.

Also, I had an interview for a possible job yesterday. I haven’t heard about the result yet, and it makes me very nervous. I hope this one will not just disappear like a couple of other prospect after I had the interviews. I need to stay positive.