Being the nice person isn't always fun!

[CallaghanClown]

Thanks guys. The actual day my real H was here wasn't hard. Shocking and happened but not hard. Very natural actually.

The days afterwards have been hard. Very hard actually. But having spoken to him, he's finding it hard since too.

I thanked him for sharing his good day with me and the kids. He said it was because of us. I said I was proud that he could see the good and bad days now. He thanked me. I said it was lovely to see him getting better day by day. Again he thanked me. He didn't want to get off of the phone. He asked about me.....he has done for a few days now. He talked of getting professional help. Said it was urgently needed. That he couldn't keep going without it, really wanted to get well.

He said how confused he was. How he didn't know how to feel what to think. Didn't trust himself anymore. Didn't know what he really felt. He thought he knew and now he just doesn't seem to think that he was right.

I asked him how long he's been ill for? 3 years maybe longer. How long have you known you are ill? A few months, maybe less. Do you think it may take a little longer before you start getting better? Yeah I guess that makes sense, at least I know I'm ill now.

He says he's been thinking about the correlation between concussion and depression (he's a sportsman) but he didn't want to blame that for all of his actions. I asked why? Because I always blame something else, it's an instinct of mine. What's wrong with that instinct? Well I don't want to blame anyone else anymore but it's the first reaction I have. Can you change reaction? Yeah I guess you can over time.

I still need to stop over thinking......

Oh and no expectations.......