Also, I found this insight from you really good for me, too:
"We also talked about my issues... oldest of 6 kids, had to take on a lot of responsibility and care for my siblings early on, never felt like it was okay for me to want or need something. My family often struggled with money."
I wonder how many of us in difficult relationships fit into a similar category?
I'm the oldest of three kids and while my parents weren't alcoholics or anything like that, we were very poor. I got made fun of a lot because I wore boys' tennis shoes, and clothes, to school because my older boy cousin passed them down to me.
While my childhood was happy, I did always feel "guilty" when I needed or wanted something. And, I also enjoy helping others and making them happy. It's tough to see H so unhappy when I just want him to be happy!
It was interesting for me to see your train of thought on that....gives me something to think about in my own sitch.
Maybe our personality types lead us to codependent relationships with our significant others.
And your thought about wanting him to help you but not needing him to???? Totally my sitch.
Keep digging! You're sorting through some good stuff.
You are amazing and strong. Don't you ever forget it!
