I want myself to be punished. I don't love myself enough yet to forgive myself. I can't lie to myself. I can't fix or control any of these things.
I love my W even today in her flawed existence. All her scars make her who she is, right or wrong. I love her and accept her.
Maybe I haven't felt loved in so dam long that I can't possibly think that I am a good and worthwhile person. So I beat myself up for all of my failures and continue to revisit them because I feel so unloved that it must be my fault.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
