Newbie needs help:husband left Saturday

[dxw689]

An update and a thank you for those that continue to reply/post. I was away at a conference all weekend: This was maybe for the best, given that it was only about a week ago he moved out and there is a lot of advice to go dark. Although I felt quite a lot of sadness at the conference, it also gave me some physical distance to get used to being away from him, which is easier without the kids. The hardest part I find is being home alone with them, ESPECIALLY at dinner.

But I have done my reading (Cadet's posts and others) and I was beginning to feel some of the acceptance and turning the situation over to God that is advised, particularly during the flight home. This helped when I came home, since my husband was staying in our house with the kids - I was able to act "dim" as advised, rather than the distressed signals I had previously been giving off.

Now I am home: there was a snow day for kids today and I stayed home from work with them: I have for the most part enjoyed the day. This is a big advance. But this afternoon, feeling some back-sliding into sadness. He is so closed off to me - sort of a patronizing attitude - but not angry as many describe a hallmark trait of MLCers - anyone else have this sort of thing instead? Anyone think then that this is maybe NOT MLC and - well, he just doesn't love me any more and I should give up?

One of the things I have a hard time with is that, given that he is so adamant that he does not want to work on the marriage, and clearly his choice to move out so abruptly says he does not want to be with me, how do I know when to stop working myself in the hope that he will come back? A friend this weekend told me "You'll just know" - believe it or not, that helps some - coupled with the attitude I am receiving from all of you to just accept it as it is today and that is all I can do... many thanks and all input welcome...