Wife wants Divorce, I do Not

[MrBond]

"Posting things on fb, running on emotion and hurt feelings, leaving me and our things, treating a marriage like be/gf, acting 20 something, avoiding anything to do with me, still saying I love you, knowing I will stay where I'm working and living, asking me if it's ok to call me, .....

That's not selfish?"

Nope. What you don't seem to be getting is that she doesn't see it as being selfish at all. In fact, you were the one who acted selfishly by ignoring her. You didn't see it that way.

Right now her perception is that she's finally getting her needs met and is trying to enjoy a life that she feels you dragged down.

"I know my wrongs. Yeah, I see the light now and it is too late."

No it isn't. But you keep thinking the way you are and not changing your attitude, then it will be too late.

"She's not seeing hers or being responsible."

How is she not being responsible? You're complaining like a kid not getting the attention that he feels he deserves. Again, it's a selfish ego thing.

You haven't read DB or DR yet, so it may be hard for you to understand the concepts so far. But the bottom line is that if you acted selfishly before, you can't really blame her for looking somewhere else to get HER NEEDS met. The only way she will look back is if you truly understand her POV and start changing. This starts by you not constantly mentioning how much YOU are hurt.

You're letting things turn into resentment. And that's exactly how the situation started in the first place. With her resenting you not listening to her. You're still not listening.