I have been caring for my ill mother. Holding down a job while tending to two households is not easy these days. Not complaining b/c I am so thankful to still have my mom!
I agree with your decisions on the invitations for the holidays. If you do not feel comfortable about attending W's birthday party, then don't go. Since you have accepted the other invitations she has presented, I think it would be fine to graciously decline the BD party. Frankly, at this point in the stitch, if she should be so bold as to ask why you won't attend....I believe you should tell her that it could be sending mixed messages about the two of you being a couple if you were to show up at her party.
If she wants to comment on your statement, then she has the opportunity. Think about what you may say, in case she does. She may turn it around and ask you how you would feel if they (the guests) wondered if you were getting back together. IDK. But remember, any time you aren't sure what to say, just tell her you would need to think about it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
