I'm glad you continue to improve. Wow! A man after my own heart w/having the Christmas shopping done! Well done!
Jack, you've been given a gift of time, as well as reflection...use it wisely and the future will be a good one for you and your family. Take this time to create new traditions and reach out to those you've lost contact w/over the years because you were either too busy or you were focused on your work.
BTW, I'm glad to see that you are utilizing your time to get closer to your youngest son. They grow up do fast and he needs his father now more than ever.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.