Hello! Well it sounds like you've been doing good DB'ing whether you knew it or not. Going to IC just for yourself was a smart move, telling your H that moving out was his decision and that you weren't going to make it for him, working on your issues, GAL'ing, all good stuff! Usually people come here and post without even having read any of MWD's books, so you're ahead of the game
Originally Posted By: Liberty3
My main obstacle, drama, call it what you want, is that H and I run a business together. We have a lot of contact via phone and on actual jobs together. At times this is VERY difficult. It is just not possible for either of us to get out of the business for another couple of years. We both admit we work well together too.
Then keep doing it. Look at it as an opportunity to show him your changes. Give him as much time and space as you can outside of the business though.
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and now the issue is that I have been pushing him away and not showing affection for years.
OK, but he doesn't want to work on that now, correct? As long as he doesn't want to work on the M then you're right, there's no use rehashing old stuff. If and when he does want to work on the M then clearly that lack of affection is something that will need to be addressed.
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I try not to mention our relationship too often,
Don't initiate any R convos at all. It's OK to listen if he wants to talk about it though. Just listen and validate, don't try to reason/ persuade/ negotiate/ explain/ agree/ disagree.
