^^ Been there. Currently there. Don't even know if I will like new H and he has made some great changes (of which, strangely, I am jealous, lol)
That was the alarm that I had to continue to work on me....
Personally, I hope the man I married doesn't come back. What I needed then and what I need now are vastly different. Plus 20 years under the belt.
ruby kate I totally agree with what you said here. CC, I agree with you too on how scary this is. This being my 2nd time here, or maybe it was just continuous, I am very wary of my H and what he will be. He wasn't able to process this all last time and deal with it and sometimes I wonder if he has that capability to go so deeply. Hopefully my work on myself and showing him the love and support will show him the way and he can learn from it. I know there are no guarantees and if he cannot work through his issues and make himself happy inside, I may have to let him go someday. This is the first time I have been at peace with that, if it happens. I now realize I cannot fix him. But I can possibly show him the way. Remains to be seen...
CC, I get the up and down cycles, I still do it too. Sometimes I feel my posts are manic depressive, lol, as I am so up for days and then down for days. Almost makes ya sick with all the up and down. I think it was wonderful that you saw a glimpse of the old H with your children. I'm sure it warmed your heart while at the same time being hard for you. You are doing well.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
I totally agree with what you said here. CC, I agree with you too on how scary this is. This being my 2nd time here, or maybe it was just continuous, I am very wary of my H and what he will be. He wasn't able to process this all last time and deal with it and sometimes I wonder if he has that capability to go so deeply. Hopefully my work on myself and showing him the love and support will show him the way and he can learn from it. I know there are no guarantees and if he cannot work through his issues and make himself happy inside, I may have to let him go someday. This is the first time I have been at peace with that, if it happens. I now realize I cannot fix him. But I can possibly show him the way. Remains to be seen...
I think it was wonderful that you saw a glimpse of the old H with your children. I'm sure it warmed your heart while at the same time being hard for you. You are doing well.