lou, this is the basis of everything:

If I let go and realize I am not in control of anyone except me then there are a whole lot more things I am not responsible for...freedom..

Hold on to that, it will help you even in the darkest times, even in situations that are not M related. When you begin to live that, you do truly have freedom and everything else falls in to place.

Create the life you want, H may decide to be a part of it, he may not. Either way, you're good.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss