Feel like falling down

[willbwell]

for me,time running out, is h telling boys about D. makes it become real. I know it is just a piece of paper, but no, it is more than that.
it is the stamp of an end.
of course the old M is over. I get that.
H has moved on. I have not.

I hate the message it sends to our boys...Some day our boys will get married. My smart aleck thought is h saying, no worries boys, if you want to change your mind after 20 years,just get a D.
I am saddened by my h's lack of integrity, lack of commitment.

I know my job is to love him enough to let him go.

I give h his space. I don't call or make any demands. I take care of all house stuff myself. What more can I do?

H is out of town this week, in city where ow is. This is underlying what bugs me. I know. He will be doing a work xmas party. but, I just supposed to dismiss those thoughts and focua on me and what I am doing.
What is WBW doing?
I am being a mom. I am taking care of our children.That is my first job.
I am not woa is me. I see friends, go to yoga and have a life outside of my kids. But come on, lets be real here....
my kids do come first. h puts himself first. the boys see this.
It is selfish and I don't like it.
Yea, I get it. I have a selfish h.
can't do anything about it.
Wish I were the one who wanted the D