Being the nice person isn't always fun!

[CallaghanClown]

Had a bit of a low moment yesterday.....to be expected I think.

Much like the MLC'er, when good things happen, I got frightened.

I don't know how I feel. I don't need to know yet but I was over thinking stuff. Worrying that I was leading him on. What if I don't want him back in the end? But then I never told him I did. Never. I've never begged, never pleaded, never told him he could come back. So why am I worried? I'm worried that if I don't want him back, then he may spiral further and my kids will never know the father he could have been. The beautiful kind generous caring man that he once was.

I could see the other day how much more relaxed the kids were with him. It was beautiful to see. It was the father he'd once been and they lapped it up.

For their sake I hope my H, the man I married, comes back one day......for their sake. Yes I understand a variation of my H will come back, and I'm ok with that. But if you'd seen the look in my children's eyes when they spent the day with the man I married you'd want it as much as I do. But will I want him??? Only time will tell.