Divorce Busting Techniques

[melissag]

[quote = loualea]Am I consistent??
I think I am getting better at it..[/quote]

I didn't mean are you being consistent with your actions. I meant are your actions (and feelings) consistent with your values and goals - what you want for YOU.

Your whole answer talked about what you are doing with respect to H. Stop putting so much emphasis on that. That is only a small part of the equation.

What are your goals/values for you and for this separation? For example, some of my goals are: take care of my body (that means get sleep, eat healthy foods, exercise); take care of my mind (yoga, no negative self-talk, etc.); accept things they way they are and turn out rather than trying to control . . . I have a whole list with some different categories. One of the categories is how I want to behave with respect to my H. But that's jut ONE of them. It's like, less than 20% of my list.

So what is important to you? What, aside from your H, will make you feel fulfilled in life? Make a list. When you are feeling sad or overwhelmed or angry, you can accept that you feel that way, but then look at your list. And, if you have done things that are consistent with that list, tell yourself, OK, I am sad/angry/anxious, but look, I did X, Y and Z today, and those things are consistent with my values and goals . . . so I am doing OK.

Does that make sense? You need to put more of the focus on you, Lou! What are you doing to GAL??