Newbies introduce yourself /moderation notes

[Liberty3]

I'll try to keep it brief! I've been lurking for a while but thought it was time to join in.

First BD, when I found out about the EA was Aug 2012. I finally realised that I had to work on my own personal issues that had been affecting both myself and our marriage. H and I tried MC but he decided not to go after two sessions. I continued seeing the therapist for my issues only. I felt I couldn't work on the marriage until I was 'sorted'.

Second BD was December 2012. ILYBINILWY!!! And the usual follows, rapid weight loss, upside down, inside out emotions, but I refused to throw H out. I told him it was his decision to make, I wasn't going to make it for him. He continued to live at home, often saying he was leaving, until Sept 2013. The EA affair has fizzled out because the OW has backed off. I think it was more on his side than hers.

After doing a lot of reading I came across MLC, and a lot of it seems to fit H. I have continued to work on and mostly overcome my issues and it has opened up a whole new world to me. I am slowly GALing, and doing stuff I never dreamed I could do.

My main obstacle, drama, call it what you want, is that H and I run a business together. We have a lot of contact via phone and on actual jobs together. At times this is VERY difficult. It is just not possible for either of us to get out of the business for another couple of years. We both admit we work well together too.

H was given the (edited) book recently. He has read it and says he agrees with it and that he has HAD a MLC, and now the issue is that I have been pushing him away and not showing affection for years. I will admit that the past couple of years I have been pushing him away somewhat, mostly in response to his mood swings and depressed state, but I don't think it's been for years like he says. We have talked over past issues and both agree that rehashing it isn't getting us anywhere and we try not to bring past issues up anymore.

And to now, I'm continuing to GAL, have recently signed up to do a diploma course (gulp, study!!!!!), and I am affectionate to H when I see him. I try not to mention our relationship too often, he does bring it up as well though. He recently told good friends of ours who know the whole situation that he was going to move back home, but he continues to tell me that he isn't ever moving back. He doesn't believe that I have changed because I want to, he thinks its because I feel I have to so he will come back.

And I was trying to keep it brief!...........