Moving My Picnic Blanket Over Here

[bustingout]

Thank you gracious ladies. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences and advice .. You have helped me look at different ways to approach this.

So I sat D down the other day and she would speak so I gave her some paper and asked her to write down her feelings. And she did. She said a lot and I really think it was a step forward. She said what we all suspect she would say... She is anxious all the time because she never knows if daddy is going to come back and live with us again and she doesn't want to tell him that in case he does not respond to those feelings of her wanting them back.

I know I need to follow up ( this writing exchange took awhile and I thought it best to leave it and thank her for sharing and relax the rest of the night) but I suppose I need to tell we live in the now with or without daddy. I am hesitant to say live as if he is never coming back. It's hard enough to do as adults...

Bug I really became mindful of validating my kids after a similar conversation on one of your old threads. I do need to express my feelings too. Around my kids I do tell them how I feel. To a certain extent.. ' mummy is a little sad/ worried/ happy etc' and I am mindful of modelling my behaviour and responses to feelings and events. One of the last times I kind of lost it was when we had an intruder in our house. I was so scared afterwards and so mad at H for abandoning us I threw a hairbrush against the wall.

I don't have anyone to really talk about my feelings except here and when I work through them on my own. I have my friends but that is always touchy. The last few weeks when I was writing here about being confused because h was being nice etc, my friends were so mad at him that they didn't want to really hear what I was saying... Like i should just be mad too and leave it at that.

That's when I found out that people that have not been exposed to this MLC world won't be able to see what we see. Hard to sometimes find someone to talk to so intimately unless they are your partner. So I stick to here :-)

Anyway

I like the idea of rose and thorn. I will try it out. I am very much a converted believer of expressing ourselves in healthy ways and letting go of it after being recognised and processed.

More to come later and will check other threads. Have to get ready for work