Love is a Choice

[AJM]

They have learned that all of us are flawed individuals but they are learning the tools to deal with it.

The urge to let everyone know what W has done and continues to do is strong

Yes. And it will be for a long time. Don't give it airspace. That's ego-anger. Your ego was hurt and you're fighting with it. See the next item...

Actually, it might not even matter. That would be giving yourself too much credit. She may (and I have no idea as I am not her) not really even give a chit. Bottom line, she will FIND or CREATE ways to be angry at you. She has too. It justifies her actions.

When it comes down to it, you both played a "role" and you both own the success or failure. In the end, it really doesn't matter - it just is what it is and what it becomes. As a man, you have to be the leader - good or bad. We're wired that way as humans regardless if you fight it or not. The "roles" are strong and difficult to break away from.

Read Eric's post again. He did a nice job of summarizing the journey for him and what it means. The various perspectives and especially those of his kids. They need somebody to show them how to handle it and let's face it...you're nominated. Good thing you're up to the challenge.


Your W is trying to figure things out. Let her. She'll do it her way whether you're involved in that or not. But don't give in to the temptation to fight back. It's strong, but don't do it. You'll be glad you didn't and you'll be glad you showed your kids how to handle lifes challenges with grace and dignity. That's a priceless gift only you can give them.

The truth will come out in time. Your W is trying to control it. She'll have to learn just like you do. You can't help but you can delay things. Don't worry about the truth - it really does come out later. I can attest to that as well as can many on this board.


Peace,

AJ