rH, Your h has been home almost a year. Generally the settling period takes 12-18 months.
What concerns me is the lack of transparency, the hiding of things. In order to gain your trust and truly win you back and prove to you that he really wants to be there w/you, is the transparency and being honest in all areas. He shouldn't be technically covering things up or conveniently not telling you things.
Well, I can tell you, I didn't like the comment he made about returning home because it's comfortable. That's not a good enough reason to come home. He should have said that he wanted to come home and build a new life w/you because he loved you and wanted you in his life.
His crisis isn't over and I'm going to suggest that you step back a bit. Don't be so readily available to do things w/him. You both have to grow separately in order to come together and live your new lives in a more meaningful way. You both were separate individuals when you married and once you married, you became one...but along the way, rH, you lost your self in being a wife, companion and mother. Now, you need to start focusing on how you want to shape your new life. As uR pointed out, get a new mirror and start looking at yourself.
Give him plenty of space because he still needs to grow up some, i.e., in other words, he's not fully baked!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
