Find a therapist for just you and get ready to take a long hard honest look at yourself, let your W go for now.
Your going to have to do some major work on you before anything else.
BTW, I would not resort to drinking right now.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
