I haven't updated due to being busy, and having crazy weather, and because things have been going so smooth with H....I didn't want to jinx it! Lol.
H never said another mean word about my parents buying tires. He did, however, say more than once that he was glad we had new tires with the icy weather.
I am SLOWLY learning this MLC dance better. When H said something nice about my parents or the tires, I would just smile and agree and move the convo on to another topic. This seems to work really well with H. If I "dwell" on nice comments he makes or make a big deal about them, he emotionally "runs" off again.
If I acknowledge the nice comments but move on, that seems to work.
Also, for the FIRST time in a year and a half....my H spoke to my dad!!!!!! We went to S15's playoff game. I let H know that my dad would be there so he'd be prepared. They haven't spoken since July 2013.
My S12 asked if we could sit with my dad (his grandpa)...and H didn't answer so I let it go. When we got there, the kids led the way and ended up sitting next to my dad. So, H and my Dad were on opposite ends of our row with me and the kids all in between. Was a fun, pleasant afternoon (well....the weather was FREAKIN' cold....besides that, it was fun!) and H went to get hot cocoa for the kids.
He turned and said "E (my dad), can I get you anything while I'm at the concession stand?" My dad and I were both startled that H talked to him....but my dad said something along the lines of being fine but thanks, etc.
H and I have been doing very well for 11 straight days now. We've had a few hiccups, like the tire thing, etc. But no huge yelling fights.
I have been very careful to NOT yell or engage in any fights or anger from him. We've stayed calm even when discussing things that usually make us fight.
He's mentioned several times over the past week that I seem different. That he appreciates me taking the time to listen to him before I get angry, etc.
I have been trying very hard to just maintain calm, no matter what.
We've laughed and joked more in the past 11 days than in the past 11 weeks! H is much more interested in the kids and what they're doing. He has started coming out of our room more to hang out with all of us as a family in the living room.
He loaded the dishwasher yesterday and made supper. All things he USED to do but had stopped.
Of course, I'm staying on RED alert for when the next shoe drops...and trying to keep NO expectations. He could start spewing at any time! For real.
But, for now, I am enjoying the peace...and am continuing to work on ME....and spend more time with my kids.
