I am sorry you have to tackle this now. I hope it means that you get to start the new year fresh or at least fresher.
Whatever happens, by the weekend the biggest hurdle, the start of frank and true discussions at your judicial conference will be done.
You have received some really good general advice here but please make sure to discuss the details with your lawyer. Different jurisdictions have different laws, different countries more so. Keep in mind, too that just because your Hs lawyer is making arguments for your H, that doesn't mean that your lawyer believes them. Trust me, she has heard it all before. And that is your Hs lawyer's job - to fight for your Hs interests.
As long as you communicate clearly with your lawyer, you will be fine. If something is unacceptable to you, make sure you discuss that with her. For example, I do not believe for a second that your H is paying the visa in lieu of child support but if in fact he is, ask your lawyer to ensure that in future, the money is paid directly to you for the kids in case your jurisdiction allows for set-off of debts.
Finally, my friend, try to find some joy for the holidays. I finding it a little hard to scrape up some Christmas cheer myself, but may you find moments that are wonderful and truly yours.
