AS- True detachment...hmmm....sometimes I wonder if I'll ever really get there. It seems that stbxh is really stressing me out every time we interact...he keeps pressing and pressing about the child custody situation.
I think you'll get there after the D, but D does have a way of reopening a lot of old wounds that we thought were healed.
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Crying more recently when I think of how things will be changing-- it's scary for me to think of not having the boys as I do now. I know I will be okay when we've all had time to adjust, but I don't want to agree to the "wrong" things in the divorce concerning the boys.
I doubt there are many D's where either party comes out thinking they have "won". You can't be made "whole" again and neither can your H. It's like my C told me after S, you have to find your "new normal". Things like this are life-changing and we really don't like our lives to be constantly disrupted! But look at it this way, once the D is done your H no longer has the power to disrupt your life anymore unless you let him. This is his "last hurrah" as it were. Afterwards you'll find your new normal, then the next "disruption" will be a good one- piano man or some other hottie
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It's hard to think about not having the boys as much as I do now. The sad thing is I do think they need to see him more. But, for me I feel like I am giving up being a full-time mommy then.
I felt the same way at S, I went from having the kids 100% of the time (with W) to having them every other week. It IS a tough adjustment, but eventually I learned to enjoy the weeks to myself and started doing things that I never had time for before. I also find that when I do have them I am much more attentive to them than I was when I was around them all the time.
Good luck with the health concerns, I hope it's nothing!
