Sinking into a dark place

[Accuray]

Sure, you lay there and read the newspaper while I do my business. It just came off like you're an animal and can't control yourself so I'll spread my legs and let you do whatever you need to do.

I know exactly what you mean -- this is a very frustrating place to be.

You might want to shift your perspective on this one however:

Instead of viewing this as a negative situation where your W is treating you like a dirty animal, you could view it as a positive -- that your W, who is not feeling desire right now, is willing to do this FOR you as an act of love.

Her offer to have sex with you every day was actually very generous, she's trying to work with you here in a way that she doesn't feel compromises who she is.

So she's giving you this gift and you're saying "it's not good enough, you're not selling it"

I guarantee that's her perspective -- that she's giving you something and you're saying it's inadequate.

The predictable backlash from that is that she stops having sex with you altogether because what's the point? You're not going to enjoy it anyway so why bother?

If you think you're hurting now, wait until you get there!

If you want your W to work with you, you do need to acknowledge the effort she is making and be truly thankful for it. If you're going to express this genuinely, you need to get your head there first.

Now if you're able to come to terms with all that and it's STILL not good enough for you (and I can understand why it wouldn't be), then you need to lovingly engage her to work with you for the benefit of your marriage, not because anything is wrong with her. That's a very important distinction.

"Low Desire" can be physiological, so she could have her hormones checked and discuss the issue with her doctor, it can be psychological, and she could pursue that with an IC or a sex therapist, or it can simply be "her sexuality" and not the result of any physical or psychological issues.

If its the third category, then there is literally nothing you can do except ask her to be a better actress and try to find peace with it, or decide to leave.

Acc