Wow, what you describe about the illegal activities your W has been involved with along with her family, well that is pretty staggering! And you got sucked into it as well. Good for you that you're trying so hard to pull yourself out of that, but I've got to ask you, are you SURE you still want to be married to a woman who partook of illegal activities and not only has no remorse over it, but blames YOU for all of it? How long before she goes down that rabbit hole again?
What your W is doing is very typical of WAS's- most of them blame their LBS for everything that's wrong in their life. The LBS becomes an easy target for them, if they can just get rid of the LBS then all will be good in their life and they will be happy again. All you can do is give her time and space to discover for herself that her problems are HERS and not YOURS. Be patient, it will take her a long time to sort that out.
