Love is a Choice

[Mach1]

I want him to understand that his mother is in a time of conflict with herself.

Easy with that one....keep it "kid friendly"...

You do not want him to over-compensate how he treats her, and it will also let you come across as the martyr there....

Mom and I are going through some growing pains. It will either work out, or it won't. Either way, I want you to know that NONE of it is your fault, nor your Brother's fault. Your Mother is going through some tough times right now , and the best thing that I can do, is to love her, and hope that all ends well. All I can do, or we can do, is support her when she needs it. Remember when you were younger, and you needed a "time out" ? Mom just needs a time out right now.

I want him to understand that life is difficult, but we perservere.

Ayup...Cept you won't have to tell him....he will see it...

I want him to feel safe that his mother and father will always be here for him.

While that is true, and he needs to know that. You can really only assure him that YOU will always be there for him...and this should be more through your actions, and not words..

I want him to understand that I love his mother very much.

Easy with that one too....

I want him to know that he can come to me with any concerns and that any questions he has for me are OK.

I think he knows that already....Actions again...

I want him to know that our father/son relationship is safe and open.

Same as above....

I do not want him to think horrible things about his mother.

Then don't tell him those things. He IS gonna see some stuff, just try to be there for him to help him understand, in a "kid friendly" way....

I do not want him to think every time conflict happens in a R, it means something bad.

Show him then...

I do not want him to have a terrible, distorted view of love and happiness. He is, after all, just now trying to figure these things out for the first time.

Once again, it will only be as horrible as he sees it being...

I do not want him to focus so much energy on our problems that he cannot explore his own issues as he is growing up.

Try to keep him out of your business then. Involve him in your GAL, and other things you have adapted recently....

Most importantly, I want him to feel loved, supported, and safe in his environment.

Sounds as if you are already doing that...

It also sounds as if you have a plan in place already...


Maybe ???