Since you are analytical, you analyze what it is that you are afraid of, and then determine if those outcomes are worse than what you're currently living with.
I view you a bit like the prisoner who is so adapted to the routine of prison life that they fear having their freedom.
When I first started posting to you, I think I pointed out that you had nothing to lose. You are already in a position where your spouse humiliates you, emasculates you in front of your children, is mean to you, denies you of sex and even common courtesy. How is that situation going to get worse?
What do you have to fear that you're not already living with?
When I started posting to you, you were afraid that W would divorce you and you wouldn't be able to keep your house, but now that's going to happen too, so what do you have to lose *now*? Even less!
So what are the fears you have?
1) Being alone: You already are alone, but worse you're treated poorly. The pummeling your W gives your self esteem inhibits your ability to foster new friendships and erodes your relationship with your kids. Leaving your W will actually make you less alone, not more alone.
2) Being insulted and put down: You're already in this scenario, could it possibly get worse?
3) Being made to feel "less than": You're already there. Could it possibly get worse?
That which you fear has already come to pass, so what do you have to fear?
You claim to be rational, factual, and Teutonic, but do you see that your behavior in this regard is anything but that?
You are ruled be emotion and fear, not rationality. Use your rationality to your advantage and see this situation for what it is -- one that cannot possibly be worse.
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
