Wife Said She's Done

[OneDay]

Well things really changed last night. I did the opposite of everything mentioned here. You see, she's not fighting, she's not mad, arguing etc. She is completely done in her heart.

You see we never had a Hard Talk about the reason for this Divorce and I never thought we were going to so, I initiated it! It started after an argument we had about me bringing the kids home late. Also Since I've been home she states I've been distant, sitting out back and no one knows where you are, taking off for walks, telling me your running out for a bit and not saying were. I said is this really that big of a deal? "WE ARE GETTING A DIVORCE REMEMBER"! and that started the whole conversation.

I told her I wasn't taking this well, I feel there is more your not telling me and she really opened up, and brought new things to the table. How I always told her I wasn't going to change and she needed to deal with it. I told her I dont have a problem, you do, and you need to get help. I would tell her all the time that she just has to get over it and deal with it. She did tell me several times that if things don't change and we don't get help that this relationship is going to end bad. And I of course replied with one of the selfish responses above.

Now that I heard it, I realize I said all those thing, all the time, for a long time. And this has hardened her heart and put her where she is now.

She said to me that awhile ago she started putting the focus on the kids in put me on the back burner (she said you never really noticed) She said she did this in hopes of avoiding a Divorce. She would ask her self if she can hold out until the kids are in high school, off to college etc, but finally realized she couldn't.

Honestly all of the above went on for YEARS and started getting really worse the last 2-3 years. I was a fool and did not put my focus where I should have. I am now completely hopeless for this relationship.