Feel like falling down

[willbwell]

day 4 of icy streets. bummer! was supposed to have my A&P final this AM. I want to get it over with! Have another exam on Wednesday .all schools closed today
Will use today to do some online shopping and reading, if d15 will let me!!
h came over yesterday. he scraped windows on car I use for downtown driving( I use s20's car while he's at college) I said thank you. had made soup, he declined eating with us but I sent some with him.
h will have a busy work day today because of weather.
leaves town tomorrow. city where ow is.

d15 program also got cancelled tonight. we would have sat together.

feel the time running out.
pretty sure h will want to tell boys over xmas about D.

would like to have a conversation with h before that happens.
I wont bring it up though.

I pray and ask for guidance.
my ears are all clogged! I hear no message.
Really feel I have no choice in this at all.

I could of course say, you know h, I don't have to be nice to you.. but really h knows I am good and kind. He knows I won't act ugly. it goes against my nature.