on the edge pt 2

[melissag]

Dingo, what a crazy weekend. My guess is that this roller coaster is going to continue for a long while, though. But let's say it didn't. If she wanted to come back tomorrow, would you agree? Would that be a good idea? Have you done the work on yourself that you need to do in order to have a successful M?

This part stood out to me:

Feeling pretty good about it all right now. I will be fine either way and she is struggling emotionally as much as I am.

What do you mean by that? I think that most WASs probably struggle with their decision. My H told me several times that he feels like $hit for doing this to me and the kids, stuff along those lines. But so what? If your W is struggling because she is feeling lonely, guilty, confused, ashamed, or any of those other kinds of feelings, do you really want her to come back?

I have been thinking about my H coming back at some point, and I think that, while I would LOVE for him to say he wants to come back tomorrow, it would probably be a bad idea. I want to have a relationship where he and I are each capable of being happy on our own rather than relying on the other to "make" us happy. So that being in each other's lives just adds to that happiness and contentment rather than creating an obligation to provide it. Don't you want your W to be with you because she loves you and WANTS to be with you, rather than NEEDS to be with you? (i.e., can't hack it on her own.)

Don't base how you are doing on how she is doing. Use this time to work on self improvement and GAL.