Advina- Thank you for your comment. It is taking me a long time to get close to "Being ok" or to even understand that concept. But once I decided that my goal was to protect myself and S and to work towards an amicable relationship with H because we share a child it is much clearer.

I run and hide to escape the onslaught of hostility. But here in my room I am ok. I can't believe I actually have made it to a place where I am saying I sm ok!!! I know the crap he was just spewing is not true. I know that it is coming from some very dark place. I am sad that H is living there right now but I know that I do not live there with him.

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15