I'm so sorry for the pain you must be feeling. That's a lot to go through.

It would seem your H has issues that have nothing to do with you or being married to you. Would you agree?

You can't repair the R, at least not alone.

How would you help him? Has he asked for help?

Why do you think saving the M is your best path?

I like what you're doing for you. Keep it up.

Please don't take this as a brush-off or that you should give up but you have along road ahead of you. You should be clear on your goals and the work that this might take.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss