How about leaving a suggestive naughty note for H? Something like, "H, wanna be naughty tonight??! YourPetName" Then kiss it with your lipstick. That'll give him something to think about all day at work!
I may not be able to post how that turns out! Some details hafta be just left up to the imagination
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Wonka, I was thinking the same. Except how...meaning be naughty somewhere in the house, and doing something different. THEN leaving the note! Heh heh heh. >:}
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
Specific comments H made recently. Could be anything.
Specific behavior in the bedroom recently. Could be anything!
Don't forget that to be effective there has to be mention of the consequence of being naughty. It could be almost anything. You could say he has to take you somewhere, buy you something, or fulfill some desire of yours.
Of course there's always the time tested standby response to being naughty... a good old fashioned spanking!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Forever, Santa Clause is responsible for the consequences...the naughty or nice list, remember? Now personally Reaching, I'd do something COMPLETELY unexpected.
For example, in my state we still have sodomy laws on the books. Which means if you and your husband were say ...parking and decided to partake in either ways of committing this crime, you would be breaking the law! THAT would be VERY naughty
Check your state laws and see if there is any antiquated laws still on the books, and have some fun with it.
Oh to have such a dilemma , and to be able to be civilly disobedient...S I G H...
This is just frustrating as all get out.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
Hey Rh, so glad you are looking within. Keep digging. Keep figuring out who you are and what you want.
Is there something you always wanted to try? Something that might make you giddy?
I have told you that I have learned to love who I am, but, I am always a work in progress. I have two lists. One which has those things about me that I love. Another that has things I want to change.
The goal is that the first list gets bigger and the second one smaller.
I have talked about mirrors before. Get new ones. See what is reflected back.
And the most important one is the one you look in. See that person and really learn to love her. When you do, that is when you really shine.
Thank you, Ambi and FY for all the suggestions! I can tell you have thought of these things before, lol!
H and I managed to squeeze in some naughty behavior today
uRw I love all your suggestions, of course! I'm going to start the two lists. And think about what I would like to try that would make me giddy! That used to be pretty easy to do...not so much any more. It would be nice to get some of that back.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
On a more serious note, H and I had a series of small R talks today culminating in a big one while we wrapped some presents (I was mindful not to do too much direct eye contact as he chose to do this while doing an activity.)
It was about why he came back. I had some questions. He said he has been perplexed that I should question anything. He said that "counselors" of his have said that had I realized how very far he was GONE I should be nothing but overjoyed he came back!
IOW, I should've had NO issues this year!
How interesting! I think he s/b OVERJOYED he has a home to come back to, and he thinks I s/b OVERJOYED he came back!
I think both are true. But we still had some reconciling issues.
Since we can assume neither he nor his "counselors" have been through the DB course--they couldn't know that reconciliation has its own set of issues.
So....maybe that's why I didn't get The Great Apology? We see life through different lenses.
It was a very comfortable, warm and loving convo. I told him we have been through a lot this year, 2013, and we can happily put it aside and look forward to a great new year.
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
He said he has been perplexed that I should question anything. He said that "counselors" of his have said that had I realized how very far he was GONE I should be nothing but overjoyed he came back!
IOW, I should've had NO issues this year!
How interesting! I think he s/b OVERJOYED he has a home to come back to, and he thinks I s/b OVERJOYED he came back!
I think both are true.
So....maybe that's why I didn't get The Great Apology? We see life through different lenses.
Rh, the only way I know how to be is honest. And the truth is, that upset me a bit. I hope that you said that both are true, because they are.
You certainly do see things through different lenses. I have to say that it is a bit of a flag to me to hear him say those things. It is something that should be addressed at some point.
When reconnection is new, there are certain things that shouldnt be addressed until both parties are on a strong, healthy ground. Once they are, certain things should not be swept under the rug, ya know?
Issues need to be talked about. Otherwise resentment sets in.
