Coming Back To Life

[BrightFuture]

Thanks, job. Yes, I could almost tell when H was “lashing out” or not being in a good mood, when he sends the e-mails or texts without addressing me and not signing his name. I could be completely wrong on his motives, but the one thing I know is that he has not been consistent in his behavior. Well, recently I’ve been getting more friendly e-mails and texts.

I know that I’m lucky that he is a nicer MLCer, but it is also so confusing. It makes me doubt that he is in MLC, when everything looks normal.

I’ve been thinking about what kind of life he’s been having since BD. He has no permanent home and address and uses my address for his mail. Then he relies on me to forward his mail to him. He’s been living in another state. First, he stayed in his camper to save the money, and then started renting a room in his friend’s house, or staying at the hotels when he has remote jobs. He cannot live in the vacation home full time because he needs to make money and there is no way to do it over there. A lot of his stuff and clothes are still in my house. His car is parked here, but when he comes to the city he stays with his brother. Last year I thought that he would be moving his stuff to his brother’s house, because his brother is single and has 3 bedrooms. Well, last year when his brother found out that we were separated, he said that he didn’t want anything to do with H’s mail and him permanently staying at his place. So, it might explain it.

H’s car has lots of miles on it and he was due for a new one before the BD. I don’t think he can afford a new car now, maybe a used one. As far as I know he hasn’t been spending much money, so there is no new clothing for him. He most likely cannot not afford to go on vacation anymore (he loves to travel and we did a lot of it together.)

So, is this the life he wanted so badly? Or, was the M so bad for him that he gave it up in order to have this life?

Interesting thing is that he hopes to find his “harmonious” relationship with all that. What does he have to offer? His hope was to find a companion who would “one of the boys” and could hang around in every bar with him. At the same time, she should have an education and do no nagging and not be jealous. She should live with him wherever he travels and come with him to the vacation home. Oh, and I forgot to mention that he also wants to come to my family holidays at the same time.

And this has been going on for 18 months. I’m thinking that he should be tired of this life already, but I could be very wrong and might like it forever.

Some small update. Yesterday I went to my sister’s house for dinner and my BIL (her H) told me that he received a text from my H about some soccer qualifiers. H and my sister’s H are both soccer fans. My BIL mentioned to me that he gets texts from H once in a while. BIL made a comment that it looks like H wants to keep the contact and remind about himself sometimes.