MrBond I know what you mean. But the thing is, I stopped acting or suggesting like I'm waiting a long time ago.
What I mean is that I don't continue to say things that make it like I'm waiting. So telling her that we can do this or that whenever she drops the loser, seems like I'm back tracking at this point... or am I wrong? Let me know what you think of this position.
Its tricky when you act like you are moving on, and its been a year already. Do you continue to say 'as long as you are with OM then....' or does that imply you are waiting.
Then again, if there is no one else you are seeing, doesn t that scream 'I'm waiting' louder than saying it?
I hate these cat and mouse games! I just wanted a family and I nice quiet life..
Read an article today about mismatches in relationships..
Basically it said that allowing your wife to contribute less in the form or work and money and child care than you, gives her the chance to begin to feel like she is above you.... and that YOU are lucky to have HER instead of the other way around. She begins to disrespect you and $hit tests increase, and as the husband fails ever time, attraction goes out the window.
Then she feels she is ENTITLED to another man friend.
The author calls it the Good Husband Trap.
After providing for her from way back in our college days, I feel I fell into this trap too.
That's why I'm hoping that when her new paychecks start hitting our account and then being sucked up for mortgage and bills like mine have for years, she will better appreciate my sacrifices.
She will have 'skin in the game' as I read somewhere else. Makes it harder to walk away when you've invested so much.
But also our sitch was based heavily around an undertone of financial difficuly and so I'm hoping in the next few months she will begin to see that our marriage can be better than it was because we will be able to actully DO STUFF..which she complained that w could no longer do. In her eyes I stopped being a good provider and she gave no allowance for the terrible economy and the beating my business has taken in retail.
She starts getting paid on dec 14TH My daughter goes from $700 a month in private daycare to FREE in the public school program for learning delayed kids And, my business enters peak season in january
Things should get much better financially so that will at least remove that complaint.
Just need to refocus on the complaints about my character flaws and really start to be the husband only a fool would leave...
And that should bring it all together.
If not, then nothing will.
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
