I know that I have posted to many regulars over the past week or so, but thought I should list some positives in my own sitch...
1. H has spent many evenings and weekend days here at home 2. H, kids and I did dinner out on one of his nights - at a local fast food joint when a portion of the proceeds go to our school (saw many other families we know as well as S5 teacher who knows H doesn't live at home) 3. H keeps referencing the future in conversations about the small things in life 4. I have kept up my pact of no R talks - as hard as it may be! 5. Still filling up his cup with his main LL - 6. S3 told him to pack up and come home last night and he said okay (of course, I don't think he heard what S3 said so not getting excited - but will explore it with him later without having an R talk - any ideas how I might do this? LOL!)
So, patience is key as always! As is your support, encouragement and ocassional 2x4!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
Thanks for the post Pam, I was beginning to think that folks didn't think I needed any help since my sitch is so boring. But if this rut we are in gets too deep I will need a hand in getting out of it.
There must come a point when you either have to move forward or backwards? I feel like we are inching forward - tonight we are going to buy the new patio door and look at flooring.
Can you believe it? Remember I ripped out the carpet back in December but the door needs replacing before we lay the floor. Out of the blue today he asked if I wanted to go shopping for it tonight.
Anyway folks, don't forget about me. You keep my PMA up, you help me be patient and help me gain perspective on my sitch. I do need you and promise I won't make you yawn too much!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
"Anyway folks, don't forget about me. You keep my PMA up, you help me be patient and help me gain perspective on my sitch. I do need you and promise I won't make you yawn too much!"
Seems you are doing great. May we all get to a place where the WAS wants to talk about home and home projects. It is a long road and I see lots and lots and lots of backwards before forward. But changing the dynamic of yourself and the way you act and react is I see a life long process. And as difficult as it appears to me now, I will benefit as we all will by being a better person. Juat a hell of a way to learn about yourself.
They just seem to be slow to come around to coming home, huh? All the moves seem to be in the right direction, I'd keep on doing what you are doing.
Did you even slip in a one liner about him coming back? Or next time S3 says something, throw in, I agree with S3, why don't you pack your things up and move back. Simple, but lets him know what you want.
One of the sessions with H's T, she talked about being a door-mat vs. being laid back. She said that my laid back attitude about all of this probably saved the M, so keep having patience and it sure sounds like he will be home in the near future. I don't know if I do any thing drastic at this point, just a statement or two, otherwise all sounds good in your part of the world.
Quote: There must come a point when you either have to move forward or backwards?
That's a darn good question. I feel like I am stagnant right now w/my sitch and would like some additonal answers from H. But I know that the right path is to wait.....time and patience......(who marketed that phrase anyway??? LOL)
p.s. checked out your horoscope lately? I read cainer as well. Some of those things are so thought-provoking and uplifting but don't always ring true for me.
I agree with Karen on the waiting and patience part. It does feel stagnant and like its not moving anywhere and our natural reaction is to ask for answers now, but as michelle says, dont ever overlook the baby steps...
I long for my H to ask me go shop for home stuffs...
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see..
Wow Totite, I really am happy for you and your sitch. I do have some questions that I will not be able to post until tonight but you are in a good place, especially with all the . Just continue to be patient and be careful with any questions as you don't want to hear an answer that you don't want and negatively effect your PMA. Chat with you later.
Well, I have finished reading your threads and I have to say I hope to be as fortunate as you! Your H left in late July and by Oct. 3 you guys are . I think it is great that you are able to maintain a connection like that because I am sure it is not driving him further from you but rather much closer. I think it must be titillating to be in the midst of a steamy affair with your H! Certainly would not have happened if you were in the same house. So, maybe this is the spark that will get the emotional flames roaring again for him.
I wish I could get my W to consider . I just don't know how to go about it without backsliding and pushing her further away. From what I have learned, must be on W's terms and timeframe. I get excited when she simply gives me a peck on the cheek, no less .
I will keep praying for us both. You have done and are doing all the right things, I hope I am nearly as good as you at this whole process.
