on the edge pt 2

[dingo]

Crazy morning.

She calls and asks if she can stop over to pick up a couple small things. I told her that I wasn't available today and I locked the house. She got all pissed off and accused me of controlling the situation and her access to her things and that I didn't trust her. I just calmly said that I assumed she was done moving on Friday and therefore thought she didn't need regular access anymore. Since she moved out I didn't feel that it was unreasonable. She responds with 'so much for missing you' and hangs up the phone.

I didn't call her back and she called back 10 mins later. I just said that this is tough for both of us and I didn't think either of us was trying to be a jerk, we are just trying to get through it trying best we can. She says 'I was planning on bringing stuff back to the house - that's where my mind is- and you are locking me out.' I said that I would be back at the house later in the afternoon or after the gym tomorrow and she could arrange to come by at either of those times. She started crying and said that she has been questioning everything over the past couple of days. I said again, 'this is a very difficult situation.'

I waited on the phone for a few seconds to see of she had anything else to say but she just kept crying. I told her I would let her know when I was home later if she still wanted to get those things but that I had to go. We said bye and hung up.

I was pretty proud of myself. I am at my moms house which is only 15 mins from my house and in the past, I would have volunteered to run over there to let her in. Especially after she threw her tantrum. I stuck to my guns and told her we could do it at a time that was convenient for both of us. I also didn't get ducked in to being overly comforting to her when she started crying and didn't tell her I missed her back when she told me twice that she had been missing me.

Also I feel validated that not contacting her has worked much better than calling her all the time and asking her stuff. It's apparent that she's having serious second thoughts about her decision to leave.

Stay the course!