So I've got an empty house and I'm going to stop wasting it online, gonna go swim laps, bake, get out my Christmas tree, and spend an hour chipping away at my financial mess. Hugs to my friends here!
Jeepers Ad, How much can a woman do in one afternoon???
(I got out my tree a week ago and I've still not finished decorating it.)
Must be the motivating effect of an H that does something nice.
Wow, that is nice of your H! I noticed a couple of months ago (before BD) that my H has marked in his calendar a few days before my birthday, "plan something for Melissa's birthday." So I think for your H to think of it, plan it, and do it (even asking for a wish list!) is pretty impressive.
That is an ambitious afternoon you have planned . . . happy baking/swimming/accounting and holiday decorating!
Oh, and because I enjoy beating a dead horse, and/or refueling a burned out fire, I thought I'd just throw out there that Starbucks' whole customer service model is to give you the drink just the way you want it. Asking for it extra hot is nothing compared with some of the crazy things I have heard other people order.
Also, I appreciated your thoughts on being able to decide what is reasonable and unreasonable to ask for. My H (who I guess grew up with some sort of issue about it, and would sooner eat a salad with a cockroach in it than send it back) also made me feel like a jerk for asking for substitutions, modifications, etc. While I do think there is some merit to that (if the person is going overboard or being annoying), I agree that we are adults and can decide what is reasonable to ask for - but I hand't really formulated the words that well in my head. So thanks.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
Nice Ad!! That's a lot of stuff... what did you actually get done? If you say all, I am not worthy lol!!
Melissa- my son said a woman came in and wanted her latte exactly 192 degrees. Then argued because she said it wasn't.... My son said I'll make it 195 and you wait about a minute, then it will be 192....
For the record, my to do list is always greater than my accomplished list; that's just how I roll.
I said I was gonna go swim laps, bake, get out my Christmas tree, and spend an hour chipping away at my financial mess. I did:
* swim a mile without stopping and full speed on the last lap. Felt GREAT! I so did not want to do it that I dragged myself to the gym without my swimsuit, dragged myself back home to get that, and returned to the gym without my goggles, so I swam without the goggles. But it felt good to be warm too, the pool area was steamy and the water was warm, and after being in my cold house it felt good, so that got me started with a smile.
* baked two loaves of friendship bread and started a new starter.
* Christmas shopped, very slowly and with little accomplished other than ideas.
* Food shopped - there's an Asian market here with amazing prices on exotic produce so I got armfuls of stuff for $30 and went home and chopped, cleaned, and prepped ALL of it, and made an amazing stirfry for dinner.
* Started a pot of chicken stock.
* Watched the Nativity movie.
And I did not do all of that in just the one afternoon, it took the rest of the weekend. Just the swimming part with the extra driving took most of the afternoon while the boys were away.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
In the interest of my new budget theme, I need to note that I did not stir fry $30 worth of vegetables; they're in containers for a whole week of snacking, meals, and cooking.
Also, I do notice that I didn't chip away on my money stuff. There's still some weekend left.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
So are you using some specific budget plan or system or just being practical and keeping track? That's a critical "to do" for me which has started informally in the past month and needs to get more formal in the new year.
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
Definitely open to suggestion, but what i'm doing so far is:
My bank where i have savings, checking, credit and check card automatically categorizes transactions into budget accounts. Its hard to see month to month variations or make adjustments so,
I madw a binder with a page for each major budget category. One page is for kids ( haircuts, clothing, medical, spending money etc), one is utilities, one is food, etc. i put a column for each month plus monthly and annual budget amount. I entered the data for jan-oct and now need to follow up monthly. Each month i will see if i went over for the month can i reduce that account for next month or borrow from another discretionary account. Starting in january i'll be able to see how the amounts varied by month last year so i'll know if i normally have a high gas bill that month or if somethings wrong.
Main prob is its backward looking. At month end i know if i went over. So i may take one account (food) and make an envelope of cash to spend for the month instead of charging it all, for a few months to train myself on how far it goes.
I don't carry any debt, other than my mortgage, so the months i've been overspending have been automatically coming out of my savings (aka the balance in my checking account). At this rate i would have maybe six more months before i would run out and be bouncing checks.
The page per budget category allows writing notes such as 4 new tires purchased in november with warranty, shouldnt have this expense again for x years, etc. i also noted on the kids page the (two) times h gave me some cash for the kids school supplies and cleats.
I buy almost nothing for myself. I like shopping in second hand stores for items $5 or less. I need very little and hate department stores. But- i might budget for a new piece of clothing now and then, intentionally, rather than only buying when something falls apart. I'm a lot freer with boys' purchases but they arent very acquisitive either.
If we budget, and then dont spend, i could roll the balance somewhere: to next year, to a fun fund, to college or just to begin replacing lost savings.
My first goal though, is just to see if i can stay in the black this december.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
So I think for your H to think of it, plan it, and do it (even asking for a wish list!) is pretty impressive. 