Oh I know, what they are doing to the kids is worse than what they are doing to us in a lot of ways. At least we have the benefit of years of life experience dealing with crappy, unfair stuff. Even older ones like mine (S14) struggle with making sense of it.
Just remember to keep reinforcing that even though Dad is moving out, you both still love her, that YOU (mom) will always be there, that you aren't going anywhere. (Sadly, as much as you may want to promise "Dad will always be there when you need him" that isn't a promise you can make... you H has to be the one to make that commitment for himself).
Hugs to you and D. Man it svcks.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
