The folks above are right ... stop doing things for him ... cooking, laundry, etc. You are not his Mom, cook and maid!
Is your bank account a joint account? If so, go to the bank and get your own debit card. If not, I would probably go to some kind of ultimatum ... either a budget (cash or my own card) for household expenses or I would stop doing those "little" things for him. As a matter of fact, I would cook enough for S and I and tell him I didn't have enough money to buy enough food for three.
Tiger, I know the plan is to be what he wants to come home to, but at some point you have to stop the cake eating. He has his "retreat" to get away from aspects of OW that he isn't really happy with and then you to fulfill those aspects of his life. Let him know that you are not going to play that role.
At some point they have to realize that they have to make a choice and right now he doesn't have to do that. He has he best of both worlds .... his R with her and you his control over you. Take back control!
I am really, really in your corner. Stay strong, dig deep inside. You know what you need to do. We can give you advice until the cows come home, but only you know the steps that you need to take in your sitch. We are here to help you accomplishment it.
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
