Wife wants Divorce, I do Not

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks.
I haven't messed with FB in sometime. No snooping.

I know the NC is for me. I do want to save my marriage.


THEN READ THE BOOK THAT FORMS THE BASIS OF THIS SITE"S APPROACH...all else is just talk and talk....in circles.

You are NOT Div Busting b/c you don't know what we are talking about. YOu keep wanting simple answers and say in GENERAL terrms taht you will change.

then you go back to what SHE is doing/feeling/thinking.

Get back to the only person you can control...YOU and work on YOU and only you.

Here are the "Rules" that you have mostly ignored. (Posting later)
AND PLEASE


do us all a favor and READ either Div Busting or Div Remedy (the second version of the book) so you are doing this right.

Too much confusion on your end is not going to convince her that you can change.

She will return to the marriage IF and WHEN SHE believes

marriage to you can be better/different than before.


From your words here, you do a lot of thinking and waiting...and NOT changing...

so why would She believe you are different now?


We played phone tag for 5 days and then Tuesday of this week she text asking a good time to call because we need to talk. I told her I would let her know. I haven't contacted her since. I felt I needed time to organize my thoughts and feelings.


If she wants to tell me about OM what is the point? She still wants divorce so is it to ease her mind and guilt and make it easier?

She wants to talk to figure out if there is a chance or not AND OR to tell you herself what needs to be said.

Why not look at every interaction as an opportunity to show change in YOU?

If I don't call she eventually will.

I work and that keeps me busy, reading self help and marriage books and this forum, hobbies, and getting out some. It's getting a little easier.
If it was to get to reconcilation them I would understand more.



I don't know what ^^ this means But you need to read the book that forms this site's foundation or you are wasting a lot of folks time.

My goal is to save our marriage. If she needs this time and face her decisions, faults, and all then ok. I believe we can work through all our issues. Her wanting to or seeing that is another story. I haven't begged or pleaded. I know I am not all at fault here.

Focus on YOUR flaws only. She does not need to hear your version of HER flaws or your score card about how much you are responsible and how much she is.
SHE WANTS OUT OF THE MARRIAGE and you say you want to save it.

so now is Not the time for you to start keeping score. Drop that.

Just own YOUR FLAWS and model what a changing person looks like.