I've been following your sitch from afar and do want to share a bit about "hot/cold" W.
In my sitch, it took about 9 years before Ms. Wonka and I were able to have some semblance of back and forth contacts. It is the 'Berlin Wall' the WAS erects up to put emotional distance between us. If I recall correctly, Bond's wife did not talk to him for 3 years.
Try not to take this personally, F4MW. Just have to be patient and keep chipping away at that wall. Be careful of judging your W. She's in tons of pain that you can only imagine.
