was without power the last 24. freezing here. d15 and I camped out in the living room in front of fireplace. s17 went to a friends. a couple of hrs with no electric is about all he can take!
did h call or text to check on us? no.
feeling hurt and mad.
he's at work bending over backwards to make sure his "employees" have what they need.
it feeds his ego. Isn't he the greatest manager!! I used to hear it all the time from his workers
ready to be done with h. its my choice to move on(with my own life) or stay stuck(pining for h) That is the choice I get, am forced to make. All I wanted was for normalacy, ordinary, no drama, no gossip. Well, you know whisper whisper, wbw and h have been separated for a year. its so stupid what goes on in this head of mine. Get out I tell it all the time.
I get to choose not to kick h's a.. Sometimes I imagine that!
I need to go back and read what urworthy wrote.
I am afraid to be done with school because that is what has kept me busy and focused and keeping D at bay There I admit it, I recognize it, But what the hell do I do about it? oh, ok I got it. find something else to fill up that space... volunteer -check, activities-check PMA-check D- just another thing on my list... H wants to start the new year with his newer life....Oh yeah, me too I get a new year too.
Alright, I've vented. I'll be ok. of course I will! everybody tells me so. I better go read and get some inspirtation! atleast the electric is back on. That is a blessing.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Take each day as it comes and try not to look too far into the future because things will and do change. Focus on your schooling and the holidays that are coming up.
I'm sorry about electric situation yesterday. Your storm looked brutal and it's only early December! We are looking to be hit tomorrow.
As for him calling to see if you and the kids are okay...don't expect it. He knows that you will take care of everything.
You will be fine, but it's going to take some time. Own those sad, hurt and angry feelings and then let them go.
I'm glad you and the kids made out okay yesterday and thank goodness your electric is back on. Stay safe and warm.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
going to go scrape the ice off the car windows and get them ready.
When we lived on the east coast( MD, NY CT) I was the one to scrape the car windows and shovel the sidewalks. H was always at work...his job never closes...in fact, if snow was on the way, he'd leave early to get to work...of course, I always understood back then, just part of the job.
Ive got plenty to keep me busy. 2 tests next week. s20 will be home from college next weekend.
Can I ask why the annonimity? I'd like to just say my name is and I live in
I tell the sad, hurt. angry to go away...they keep coming back.i say Leave me alone!! Be gone. don't want you, don't need you. Don't you know I am a peaceful happy person!
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
I don't know what part of Maryland you lived in, but here, in Southern Maryland, we don't always get a lot of snow. Now, if the storm comes from the south, we will get sucker punched. I can relate to what you are saying about being the "one" to scrape the windows and shovel the sidewalks because I use to do it when we lived in Western Maryland...now they get the snow. LOL!
Why the anonymity? Because it protects us from anyone that may know us in the real world. It makes it easier to relate and yes, we use to provide our email address on the forum, but that ceased a long time ago due to some situations that happened in the cyber world. If you google MLC, you will find that every self help board uses an "alias" for the name of the poster. It's just safer for all that post here.
You have quite a bit on your plate next week and your son will be home next weekend. I'm sure you'll enjoy having him home.
Hang in there and be careful driving on the snow/ice.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
its complete ice here... 0 snow. electricity is back on. I am a wimp in the cold. I never complain about our high heat summers! will take them anyday!
h stopped by last night. d15 did not want to go stay with him. we both said ok. next weekend. they will go to lunch today. I will go to church. know I should take kids, make kids go, but I don't.
Right now, I can hear d15 talking in her bed. She's like a five year old... sweet and good and funny...makes me smile!
my home is warm and safe and full of love...it is still open to h.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
I'm glad you and your family are safe and warm w/electricity. I agree w/you...I don't care for cold weather and am grateful we only have several months of it here.
At least your h wasn't pushy about your d not wanting to go w/him last night. I'm glad she opted to go to lunch w/him today and hopefully things will go okay.
Keep the candle in the window burning and the door ajar for your h to find his way back home.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
day 4 of icy streets. bummer! was supposed to have my A&P final this AM. I want to get it over with! Have another exam on Wednesday .all schools closed today Will use today to do some online shopping and reading, if d15 will let me!! h came over yesterday. he scraped windows on car I use for downtown driving( I use s20's car while he's at college) I said thank you. had made soup, he declined eating with us but I sent some with him. h will have a busy work day today because of weather. leaves town tomorrow. city where ow is.
d15 program also got cancelled tonight. we would have sat together.
feel the time running out. pretty sure h will want to tell boys over xmas about D.
would like to have a conversation with h before that happens. I wont bring it up though.
I pray and ask for guidance. my ears are all clogged! I hear no message. Really feel I have no choice in this at all.
I could of course say, you know h, I don't have to be nice to you.. but really h knows I am good and kind. He knows I won't act ugly. it goes against my nature.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
want to share my story. I am 1 of 8. dad died of lung cancer when I was 6. mom raised us all by herself. my dad was the love of her life. I grew up poor. I was always jealous of what others had. I hated our house. I would look at realtor magazines as a kid and circle the houses I wanted. In HS I remember lying to make myself seem better. I hated the cars we drove. I hated my clothes from kmart.
my first 2 boyfriends in HS broke up with me. I remember crying and crying and being so devastated. Both these boys I had had sex with at too young of age. My 3rd BF went over into college.I ended the relationship with him. I knew I wanted more than what he could provide. I feel I was always looking for and wanting a relationship.
Then, I met h. wow! we were in spain on a study abroad program.I asked him out for coffee. He is so handsome. I fell immediately in love. He liked me back. I couldn't believe my good luck! I lied to him and made myself out to be something that I was not. Those lies caught up with me and I confessed the truth to h. all stupid lies....things just to make me appear more "cool"
5 years later, h and I get married.
my jealousy was always there. even after we married. I couldn't believe h picked me. I was always suspicious.
there were several women that I was suspicious of. When h confessed about affair, he said this was only one. He knew my suspicions and said it had never happened before. I said almost I wished it had because then that would make him a serial cheater as opposed to something being special about this ow. h says we just grew apart.
my self esteem issues. still so much learning to do
On a good note, I have great siblings. I think that growing up how we did made us so strong today. We so admire our mother. We have strong faith.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Will, would you share the moving home period that you have listed on your signature? 2/13 & 7/13, what do you think happened before he moved home, during, and after?
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
