My sitch life: Reality check Antsy check Keep hearing, "when that decision changes, I'll be the first to know."
And she still has the habit I know so well...takes FOREVER to decide ANYthing. And with something as big as this...to R, or not to R, I should know better that she will take as much time as she needs. I do know that she wouldn't R until she was very, very sure, she wouldn't want the kids to go through a false hope shattering ordeal...
This job she got though has been a godsend, for everyone. Her self-esteem is getting much better, and she can get her controlling out there, and not bring it home, lol. She has her own thing now, this is sooooo good. Gives me space in the house w/o her, and the boys and I private "guy" time.
Though, she is starting to talk more and more. I have had several long convos (by guy standards) with her that she initiated, about her work, etc. Some interest initiated in shared ideas for fixing some kids' school issues. More opening up about where she is, how she got there and here.
Some concern for me...for example, she was mad and frustrated with s3 this morning. I wasn't bothered (yay!)...a little bit after I get to work she calls and starts to vent, then stops and needs to go...I'm not bothered (yay!)...A bit later s2 calls and says "Mom wants you to know that she is doing better now. See wanted you to know so you don't worry..."
My non-sitch life:
This dude gave me a recipe for some apparently bad-a$$ chili that I will be making this weekend. Looks absolutely awesome from what I can see.
Otherwise just a regular ol' weekend for T2. Cooking, cleaning, picking up some guitars and being loud, building models with s3, cleaning the man-cave (and now teen-man-cave, which is why it has to been cleaned and organized, again... lol), laundry, repairing the overhead lights, digging out the x-mas stuff, homework helper/cat herder...
And that is just fine.
And some more song spin...I am a big, HUGE, Lou Reed fan, big influence on my songwriting. Was listening to this yesterday, seems appropriate to me ATM...
"What's Good (The Thesis)" -Lou Reed, Magic and Loss
Life's like a mayonnaise soda And life's like space without room And life's like bacon and ice cream That's what life's like without you
Life's like forever becoming But life's forever dealing in hurt Now life's like death without living That's what life's like without you
Life's like Sanskrit read to a pony I see you in my mind's eye strangling on your tongue What good is knowing such devotion I've been around, I know what makes things run
What good is seeing eye chocolate What good's a computerized nose And what good was cancer in April Why no good, no good at all
What good's a war without killing What good is rain that falls up What good's a disease that won't hurt you Why no good, I guess, no good at all
What good are these thoughts that I'm thinking It must be better, huh not to be thinking at all A styrofoam lover with emotions of concrete No not much, not much at all
What good is life without living What good's this lion that barks You loved a life others throw away nightly It's not fair, not fair at all
What's good? Oh baby, what's good? What's good? What's good? Not much at all
Hey baby, what's good? What's good? Life's good But not fair at all
Have a good weekend all...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
