Divorce on the table, Hoping for miracle

[Groov]

This is a long one:

Me: Hey, what are you thinking for the kids tonight?

W: Ward christmas party until 8. Can you still talk?

Me: Planning on getting the tree tonight with kids. I can talk anytime. How long do you want to talk for?

W: Not sure on time it will take. Just wanted to follow up with you on the papers and the numbers, if I missed anything, and see what you were felling.

W: Particularly with regards to the real estate.

Me: There are numbers that need adjustment. Actual numbers that are not reflected on the credit report. I have some ideas on the real estate to prevent taking a huge losses and perserving income.

Me: The last thing I want is you declaring bankruptcy.

Me: It does need to be considered though. As the cost of this will increase the out go of funds by 30-40 percent.

W: I'm willing to consider any avenue
W: What additional numbers?
W: Not sure what you're referring to?
W: 30-40%?

Me: Actual property payments. Asset/business interests. Assets held in inventory. Cost of maintaining two households. Support calculations. Day care, employment status and potential.

Me: These are things that need to be researched and decided on.

Me: Would it be possible that I may have the kids at 7pm?

Me: Would prefer to spend as much time with s4 and d6 as possible when it's my time to have them

W: As I see it, actual property payments stay the same, except for you, in a refi, your payment is likely to go down. Assets/business interest will divide with assets division, file jointly this year with 50/50 refund split. You're responsible for your household, me for mine, as I wouldn't expect you to maintain both. As far as support calculation go, those are calculated by the state calculator. Daycare and health are 50/50 split. As far as employment status and potential are concerned I would image yours will remain the same, unless you're planning to quit your job. I will likely increase my working hours, hopefully to hours the kids as in school, so as not to take away from family time.

W: You can absolutely take them, I totally understand missing them and wanting to spend the most time possible! I have responsibilities for the party tonight, if you can come get them that would be ideal. The party itself goes from 7-8. As soon as my portion is complete I can meet.

Me: I care about the future for you and the children. Want to make sure that we are not exposed to financial risk that would effect future options for you and the children.

Me: Thank you for the flexibility with tonight.

W: Thank you, and I agree! that's why I'm willing to consider any options.

Me: Your welcome

W: Have you taken the time to look over the paperwork?

Me: I have looked at it.

W: Do you find the numbers to be accurate? Aside from the AMEX bill.

Me: Not entirely

W: What is missing?

Me: Payment on one of the properties is to low

W: I thought 241 seemed too good to be true

M: Yep

W: Anything else?

Me: Jewelry

W: Business jewelry or Wedding ring?

Me: Both as they represent 11k ish

Me: Also business interest needs to be worked out for jewelry business and my realtor sole proprietorship. These are considered businesses.

W: Wedding rings are considers pre marriage gifts. Not considered marital asset. Businesses are separate. I don't want yours, do you want mine? Our marriage both gained and lost with both businesses. Seems reasonable to just keep them separate and be done with it.

Me: I see on the ring. As far as the jewelry business not sure... but these all affect income and child support.

W: I have made less than xxx/month with all of my income combined. xxx is what my earning potential is actually assessed at for child support purposes. you will see this with my W2s.

W: Anything else you can think of from the list?

Me: Are you really willing to consider any options?

W: Of Course.

Me: Not sure if this would work. But we could preserve the real estate by putting them in one business. We would have 50-50 ownership. Therefore we can split the income, and proceeds of sales in a good market. I want the condo. So I would need to buy you out some how. Thoughts?

Me: The real estate has always kind of been the retirement plan... Do me a favor and ask your lawyer about what we've discussed. See what our options are.

Me: On another note... the xxx property is ready to rent. So thats good news!

W: I actually thought about that myself. I, However assume all the risk, as everything is in my name. In addition, this arrangement completely locks me up financially. As you are aware my debt to income ratio is completely out of wack, and I have no support to buffer that. 50/50 would not be even exchange. Not to mention who manages and maintains to keep it even. I though about this option at length. I don't think it's the best solution truthfully. I feel like you don't really respect me from a business stand point, and even more so regarding real estate. It's been recommended to me that a "clean break" is generally the best solution for this sort of thing.

Me: Yeah, I can see you've thought about this. You definitely have all the risk and it would make it difficult to get other things with the debt to income. With our past interactions I can see why you would feel I haven't respected you in business and real estate. I don't blame you! It's crucial to feel respected!

W: Just not really sure how to make it equitable. Also, not really interested in being in business together. Historically speaking it wasn't a very good experience for me personally. If you'd like to know, I did talk to Lawyer about that. What it would look like on paper. He said that it's doable. He also said that in most circumstances, a clean break is desirable. Paricularly in this circumstance where I assume 100% of the liability and you assume none. If things go poorly, I pay the full price. You walk away clean, hence our discussion on bankruptcy. Again, that's not a recommendation or even on the table at this point.

Me: Yeah that makes sense.