Bright, Generally mlcers will begin to cut the ties or distance themselves from their spouses, children, pets, etc. Your spouse is using email and text because it's less personal and e doesn't have to hear your voice and how it may sound to him, nor does he have to see you and be reminded of what he's done.
As for separate banking accounts and even moving out of the home and/or moving away is very typical of the mlcer. They want to have their freedom and not have to account to their loved one as to what they are doing, w/whom or what they are doing w/their money. In other words...no questions or spying on them, per se.
In some instances, if the boat isn't rocked or the lbs doesn't question or put demands on them, the mlcer will continue to have the mail come to the your house and in your situation, he's still looking for you to maintain the business. He knows that you'll make sure the business runs efficiently while he's out playing Robin Hood. Why do they do these things? Well, they are ties to their former lives and they do not want to cut all of their ties. They need excuses to touch base w/us and what better way than to have the mail come to our homes so that they have some type of contact at some point. They need to have a past of some sort and as long as they know that they have some ties, whatever they may be, they know you will be right where they left you. But, at some point, the lbs will move and that's when the contact may increase, but each situation is different.
Why doesn't he file? Some are in a hurry to file and get divorced, others drag their feet until the lbs files and then, there are those who say they want a divorce and never file. Your h may feel comfortable in the no file zone and may never file and will float around earth for a while and may return at some point. He may one of those that is hoping that you'll get frustrated enough to file so that he doesn't look like the bad guy. There really is no way for me to tell you exactly why he hasn't filed. He's the only one that can tell you that and I seriously doubt that he can give you an answer right.
If you aren't sure about what you are doing and why, then you don't do anything. You sit quietly, remain calm and the answers will come. When you try to make things happen or put your entire focus on something, the final outcome will not always be what you want. Patience and more patience is what you need now. Stay positive and have faith in yourself and your h.
Don't allow the holidays to mess w/your head and make you question yourself too much. Nothing needs to be decided now as he has given you no indication that he has filed. Leave the door ajar and continue on your merry way. Life is far too short to worry too much about the future.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
